Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
