I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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