he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
