sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
