so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
