32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
