I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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