I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
