I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
