Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
