Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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