my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize