you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
