...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize