also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
