it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
