Im at strip club and am horny
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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