How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
