Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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