are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
