I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this will be a night to untag.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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