Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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