So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
