I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
