i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
