too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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