Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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(770): View more from Georgia

and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it

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(541): View more from Oregon

dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

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(631): View more from New York

I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

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(727): View more from Florida

pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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(915): View more from Texas

I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?

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