this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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