We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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