I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
