Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
