Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
