I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
