It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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