in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
