if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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