PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
