he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have fence marks all over my body
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
