So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
