Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
