You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
