ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize