Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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