Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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