I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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