Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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