its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
