dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you win again, gameday.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
