I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
