New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she told me i tasted like america
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
