do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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