I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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