I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
