The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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